Postcoital Dysphoria: “The Post-Sex Blues”
Do you feel sad, irritable, or overwhelmed with positive emotions to the point of crying after sex? You’re not alone!
Continue reading to learn more about postcoital dysphoria.
Postcoital Dysphoria
Postcoital Dysphoria (PCD) can be described as, as one study put it, “post-sex blues”; it is the experience after having consensual sex with a partner that generates a feeling of “homesickness,” sadness, depression, anxiety, crying, or irritability. (1, 2) Sometimes, PCD can be caused by a sense of being overwhelmed by emotions, such as crying, due to feeling deep vulnerability, a sense of intimacy, and love toward their partner after sexual activities. (6)
Although postcoital dysphoria is most often referenced within the context of partnered sex, people can also experience PCD during masturbation, particularly if the individual has a negative view of masturbation and sees it as “shameful.” (9) Although the prevalence of PCD is unknown because there haven’t been very many studies on it, in a survey with over 1,200 participants, they found that approximately 36 percent of cisgender men have experienced postcoital dysphoria sometime during their lives and, when compared to data from previous studies, cisgender women are more than 2.5 times more likely to experience postcoital dysphoria than cisgender men. (4)
What Can Cause Postcoital Dysphoria?
Postcoital Dysphoria, overall, is understudied when compared to other sexual concerns that would cause a person confusion or distress in their sex lives, but there are a few things that could be the cause. Please note that everyone is unique, and this is not an exhaustive list of what could cause postcoital dysphoria symptoms.
Overwhelming emotions because of the sexual response cycle: During sexual activity, particularly orgasm, our bodies release oxytocin, which is commonly referred to as the “love hormone” or “bonding hormone.” In part, for some people, the overwhelm of positive emotions can create a sense of tearfulness from experiencing intense love, intimacy, and vulnerability with a sexual partner. (6, 7)
Mental health challenges, like depression or anxiety: If you have experienced or are currently experiencing anxiety or depression, you have a slightly higher likelihood of experiencing PCD. (4) Alternatively, experiencing PCD can result in anxiety or depression, depending on the level of distress that it causes a person, if at all. (1)
Past Trauma: Even though PCD requires that the sexual activities are consensual and desired, some researchers suggest that enduring trauma, such as sexual assault or verbal, emotional, or physical abuse, in the past can contribute to experiencing PCD. (1, 4)
Genetics: Although there needs to be more research done on the matter, one study suggests that people may have a genetic predisposition to experience more intense feelings after sex than others. (3)
What Can Help With Postcoital Dysphoria (PCD)?
Talking About It With Your Partner: With your sexual partners, if you feel comfortable, explain that you sometimes, or typically, experience strong emotions after sexual activity. Discuss your experiences openly; understanding, acknowledgment, and support from your partner when you experience postcoital dysphoria can increase a sense of intimacy and closeness, in addition to creating a safer space to discuss something that could be challenging or scary to both partners. (5) You can provide education about some of the potential causes and affirm to your partner that this can happen even though you are excited about having sex with them! Also, research shows that talking about sex with your partner can increase relationship satisfaction! (5)
Therapy: If you believe that your PCD may be caused by depression or anxiety, or if experiencing PCD causes you or your partner distress, talking about it in therapy with a qualified therapist can be beneficial. You can work on managing your anxiety or depressive symptoms and talk about your experiences of PCD in a safe container with a therapist who is aware, knowledgeable, and can help navigate your experiences with you.
Self-Compassion: If you are experiencing PCD, please know that you are not alone! Experiencing PCD can be confusing, but recognizing that it may be part of your sexual expression and increasing your self-compassion and kindness is key to decreasing the level of distress that you may be feeling.
References:
Bird, B.S., Schweitzer, R.D., & Strassberg, D.S. (2011). The prevalence and correlates of postcoital dysphoria in women. International Journal of Sexual Health, 23(1), 14-25.
Burri, A., & Hilpert, P. (2020). Postcoital Symptoms in a Convenience Sample of Men and Women. The journal of sexual medicine, 17(3), 556–559. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jsxm.2019.12.009
Burri, A. V., & Spector, T. D. (2011). An epidemiological survey of post-coital psychological symptoms in a UK population sample of female twins. Twin research and human genetics : the official journal of the International Society for Twin Studies, 14(3), 240–248. https://doi.org/10.1375/twin.14.3.240
Maczkowiack, J., & Schweitzer, R. D. (2019). Postcoital Dysphoria: Prevalence and Correlates Among Males. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 45(2), 128–140. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2018.1488326
Manning, J. (2021). Communication studies about sex: Implications for relationships, health, culture, and identity. A review. El Profesional De La Información, 30(1). https://doi.org/10.3145/epi.2021.ene.14
Liberacka-Dwojak, M., Ostrowicka, H., & Izdebski, P. (2021). Crying and sadness after sexual intercourse: a qualitative study of postcoital dysphoria. Journal of Sexual and Mental Health, 19.
Mehta, D., Schweitzer, R.D., & Maczkowiack, J. (2017). Overlap of postnatal depression and postcoital dysphoria in women - Implications for common underlying mechanisms. Journal of Depression and Anxiety, S12.
Nirnay, S., Vinay, S., Mohd, Z., Balakrishnan, K., & Abbas, M. (2022). A Case Report of Postcoital Dysphoria: A Paradoxical Melancholy. Cureus, 14(10). https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.30746
Raftery, D. (2024). Further Exploration of the Correlates of Post-Coital Dysphoria and Its Prevalence within Different Sexual Contexts. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 50(5), 638–658. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2024.2346165
Schweitzer, R. D., O'Brien, J., & Burri, A. (2015). Postcoital Dysphoria: Prevalence and Psychological Correlates. Sexual medicine, 3(4), 235–243. https://doi.org/10.1002/sm2.74
