Heteronormativity is the socially constructed idea that heterosexuality is the norm and the default sexual orientation for all people; essentially, it causes people to assume that others are heterosexual unless they are told otherwise. The normative nature implied by heteronormativity is that heterosexuality is the default and, therefore, ideal (and acceptable) sexuality from a moral and “acceptable” standpoint.

There are many reasons that people fake orgasms; even you may have done it once, a few, or many times! Faking orgasms is relatively common. Approximately 50% to 70% of cisgender women have faked an orgasm during sexual activity, including oral sex, having their genitals touched or rubbed, or during vaginal penetrative sex. Alternatively, one study found that 25% of cisgender men had faked an orgasm at one point or another.

Bisexual and pansexual (who can be attracted to a multitude of genders and gender expressions) people can experience biphobia from heterosexual and homosexual people alike. Biphobia is an umbrella term that can encompass negative (and unfounded) stereotypes and opinions that people can have toward bisexual people.

PMDD is a recently recognized disorder, being added to the Diagnostic Statistical Model (DSM) in 2013. Approximately 3-8% of people who menstruate experience Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD); one study noted that the prevalence could be as high as 12%. In the simplest terms, PMDD is a more intense and disruptive version of the more commonly known PMS (premenstrual syndrome).

Postcoital Dysphoria (PCD) can be described as, as one study put it, “post-sex blues.” After having consensual sex with a partner, PCD can generate a sense of “homesickness,” sadness, depression, anxiety, crying, or irritability. Sometimes, PCD can be caused by a sense of being overwhelmed by emotions, such as crying, due to feeling deep vulnerability, a sense of intimacy, and love toward their partner after sexual activities.

If you are a man who experiences difficulty reaching orgasm or delayed ejaculation, please know that you are not alone! Approximately 5-10% of cisgender men experience difficulty reaching orgasm or experience delayed ejaculation during partnered sexual acts. Delayed ejaculation can mean that the person is unable to ejaculate after sufficient arousal and stimulation or ejaculates infrequently enough to the point that it causes the individual psychological and emotional suffering and worry.

Surprisingly, as noted in a study, some therapists would outright state negative judgments or try to automatically pathologize a client for their interest in BDSM or kink activities. Due to fear of stigmatization, many people who practice BDSM do not disclose their sexual practices to their therapists; in turn, if there is a longer-term therapeutic relationship, the client feels uneasy about revealing this aspect of their lives out of fear, affecting the therapeutic alliance.

Setting boundaries can be uncomfortable, especially if you’ve experienced pushback, anger, or resentment in the past. The fear of losing that connection or the thought/feeling that saying “no” is selfish is very real and can hold us back from honoring our well-being.

You may already love yourself unconditionally, or self-love may be something that you're not quite feeling in your bones just yet. Either way, you're great, and you're on your own beautiful journey. Loving yourself honestly in your present moment, every moment, can be a profound and powerful experience.