Heteronormativity
What is heteronormativity?
Heteronormativity is the socially constructed idea that heterosexuality is the norm and the default sexual orientation for all people; essentially, it causes people to assume that others are heterosexual unless they are told otherwise. (1) The normative nature implied by heteronormativity is that heterosexuality is the default and, therefore, ideal (and acceptable) sexuality from a moral and “acceptable” standpoint. (1) An example of heteronormativity at play is assuming that a cisgender female person is heterosexual and asking her if she has a boyfriend, therefore, excluding the idea that she could be interested in or partnered with someone of a different gender or a different sexuality other than heterosexual.
What are the impacts of heteronormativity?
From an early age, children are often socialized to believe that heterosexuality is the “norm,” which can generate the sense that any romantic relationship that is not heterosexual is “abnormal” or not socially accepted. (3) Heteronormativity in social structures and formal education can cause distress for people who are not heterosexual. (1) Often, in heteronormative schools and cultures, the lack of information about other sexualities or relationship structures can cause an increase in adverse effects for people who are questioning their sexual identity or who are aware that they are not heterosexual. (1)
What can be done or what is being done to offset the negative impacts of heteronormativity?
Education: Provide more comprehensive and open education about sexualities and relationship structures. (1) This goes for early education for children and adults alike. Normalizing at an age-appropriate level that romantic relationships and love between consenting adults can take different forms and that people can be attracted to many different genders or someone of the same gender as them, such as two cisgender women dating or marrying, etc. (3) Provide children different resources and examples of family structures other than the heterosexual married couple, which is often modeled. (2)
De-center Heterosexuality as the “Norm”: Additionally, as adults, we can recognize when our heteronormative biases come into play. As an example, when you meet someone they are a cisgender male, and they mention a significant other, do not automatically assume that their significant other is a cisgender female or even that they are monogamous; wait until the person shares more about their partner so that you can avoid making assumptions aloud. Challenge the binary views that may have been instilled in you at a young age!
For Therapy Clients: As a client, you can check in with your therapist to get a sense of their competency and openness to romantic and sexual relationships that are not heterosexual. You are welcome to ask your therapist any questions about yourself. They may not answer all of them, but if knowing the answer to the question creates a better sense of safety for you, it’s worth asking. For example, you may ask them about their sexuality, if they have queer friends or family, how they feel, or what they think about heteronormativity. Being comfortable sharing and being vulnerable with your therapist is crucial to therapy being “successful,” so please don’t be shy about asking!
This is a very, very brief overview! If you would like to learn more about heteronormativity, please feel free to look up the articles listed in the reference section or check out books from your local library regarding the subject! I wish you all the best.
References:
Boyer, S. J., & Lorenz, T. K. (2020). The impact of heteronormative ideals imposition on sexual orientation questioning distress. Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity, 7(1), 91–100.
Burke, B. R., & Greenfield, K. (2016). Challenging Heteronormativity: Raising LGBTQ Awareness in a High School English Language Arts Classroom. The English Journal, 105(6), 46–51. http://www.jstor.org/stable/26359254
Gansen, H. M. (2017). Reproducing (and Disrupting) Heteronormativity: Gendered Sexual Socialization in Preschool Classrooms. Sociology of Education, 90(3), 255–272. http://www.jstor.org/stable/26382985
